For Our Dear Ones

I wrote this from a dream. I was thinking about the soul-to-soul connection that we invoke in the prayer Keil Malei Rachamim, O God full of compassion. I wrote it with my mother-in-law in my heart, Miryam bat Herschel v’Shayna Chaya, her memory is a sustaining blessing.

Our Beloveds

I hate death
you give 30 – 35 years
40 years 50 years
coming to know someone
you become heart to heart
soul to soul with someone
it takes 25 years for that
when you know someone
25 years
you begin to melt into each other
you become like them
they become like you
we call this melting
I melt into you
you melt into me.

When you know someone for fifty years
it’s soul to soul
when you know someone for 50 years
it’s more than melting
your souls begin to converge
we call this
we become one
something different from each of us
we become one somebody else
this happens at fifty years.

That’s why I hate death
after all that
melting into each other
becoming one with each other
I hate death because after all that
someone dies
then you have to wait
thresholding we call it
we wait on the threshold for each other
I hate death
because someone dies
then we wait on the threshold
until we are together again.

This is called God
we all wait on the threshold
for our beloved ones
they wait for us
that’s why I hate death
it’s the waiting
until we join each other
this is God.

This is what we mean
when we say we are waiting for God
God is waiting for us
it’s code for
we are God waiting for each other.
We wait
this is the source of all
our God hunger.

Heart to heart
soul to soul
becoming one
25 years
50 years
waiting at the threshold
enough for now
this is all I know.

jsg, usa
Feb. 6, 2008