Jobs Bill

Mr. President: I Need A Jobs Bill

Application for Employment
Trader Joe’s Corporation
Livingston, California

Dear Prospective Employee:

Please answer in 100 words or less why you want to work at Trader Joe’s.

Dear Trader Joe’s Corporation,

I’ve had a varied working career
that is, some really interesting jobs,
but I’ve been in the same profession
for some time now
I am feeling it is time for a change.
I have always loved grocery stores.

I love food and I love food
I love the packaging of food
Love to taste the difference between the medium hot
And the hot
I know everything about salsa
Dancing and eating.

I love to dash off during working hours
And taste a little coffee now and again.
I know everything about coffee.
I love a decent tea around 4:00 PM
And a nice cookie
I know everything about tea.

I love to compare the fruits
When they are excellently ripened
When in season
When out of season
I am an authority on fruits.

I love to share with others
All the details about the foods
That I know.
I know everything about food,

Except pesto.
I don’t like pesto
And I think people who do
Are snobs.

And I don’t drink so —
Do not put me in the beer and wine

But I will make it up to you
I swear.