O Shabbes Toldot pt. 1
Mahour is used only twice, on Toldot and Balak.
Mahour means disappointed, or angered,
As when Esau and Balak are disappointed.
It is a higher pitched form of maqam Rast.
Every Shabbat is associated with a maqam, a musical figure.
Maqam is Arabic cognate for maqom (Hebrew) signifying Place.
If so why
me [Genesis 25:22]
it hurts too much for complete sentences
two worlds struggling within her
one world actually
one world split in two.
We’re working on it —
bringing them back together
been working on it for the last
three, four thousand years.
She goes to inquire of God
this is the second most important word in the Torah
lidrosh – to inquire [25:22]
make up a story
fill in the spaces
the white fire.
Rashi says she goes to inquire
at the beit ha-midrash
the study hall of Shem and Ever
quoting the Targum Yonatan.
She goes to the study center
where she finds you over a text —
we are all in the beit midrash
the house of explication
all the time.
Rebecca stepped out of the story
and finds the future
she walks through a mirror
to enter the inquiry of students —
she comes to the Beit Midrash
where we are all sitting.
It’s her request that is so difficult.
She is asking for some significance to her suffering.
Im zeh lamah zeh anokhi —
if this, why. . .this. . .me. . .
She actually gets what she asks for:
a larger me.
Her story expands — two nations are struggling within you [25:23]
we howl at her
she gets what she asks for, a context for her suffering.
She gets it in the beit midrash
forever we will associate suffering
Rebecca steps out of her own story comes and joins our circle.
Our circle is oracular and redemptive.
Why? Because it teaches meaning.
The response to suffering becomes learning
suffering is an inadvertent teacher.